May 8, 2010

This weekend is the perfect time for me to reflect on my experience as a mother.  In thinking back, the memories that stick with me the most are the ones that have brought tears to my eyes, as it takes a lot to make this stone-cold woman cry.
I remember tears when I first met Charlotte and told her "Happy Birthday." More when I looked down on her sleeping in her crib on her first night at home, I told Brian "If we can never have another, we will be okay now."  I remember crying with relief when I could lay my head down for a much needed nap and exhaustion while rocking her in her carseat and waiting for Brian to come home so we could go for a "night out" at Russ'.  Tears of love for both my daughter and Brian come when I see her nestle in with a tight hug and Brian hug her back as though he has never been so deeply in love.  Now when I cry a lot of times it is with Charlotte, because it gets harder and harder to know how to fix her tears.  A hug and sway are so often powerless now, only time seems to heal the wounds of a toddler tantrum. 
I imagine this is only the start of a lifetime of happy, sad and frustrated tears to come.  I have a lot to look forward to and am so lucky to be a mother.  Happy Mother's Day to all of the blessed mothers out there that I share this privilege with.


patty said...

You've brought tears to my grammie eyes, and they do come so easily when I watch my sons so amazing as father's and my daughters-in-law patiently and gently care for their babes. That's what a mom is all about. Being there for all the ups and the downs that life brings. What Charlotte will always remember are the gentle, loving reassurances that you are both there for her when she needs it the most.


Patty Ann said...

Charlotte will frustrate you less when she starts using more words, so she can let you know what she wants. "No" will become her favorite word though. You always have to ask, is the behavior age appropriate? She's a sweetie and she's going to be a great big sister. Keeping somewhat of a routine at her age helps a lot too.

jessica said...

That's really sweet, Angie!