No kidding

This is a real conversation that I had with a patient today. No specifics will be made as to maintain anonymity. Anyway, I've probably had this same conversation with about 50 other people, so I highly doubt it could be traced. Those of you in health care will understand the following.

Patient: What can you do to help me lose weight?
Me: Tell me the kinds of food you eat.
Patient: In the morning I snack on carrots, celery, crackers, peanut butter and Jello cups. Then I don't eat until dinner.
Me: Do you eat out a lot?
Patient: No. Today I had two double cheeseburgers and a fry, but that's all I'll eat all day.
Me: If you're going to eat out, at least try to minimize your portions.
Patient: I did. I had a small fry. It's the fries that are bad for you.
Me: What about the cheeseburgers?!
Patient: Those aren't that bad for you.
Me: You're kidding me, right? Let's move on. How about exercise?
Patient: That would take willpower. I can't make myself exercise. Don't you have a pill you could give me?

And this is why so many obese people cannot lose weight. It actually takes willpower and stick-to-it-tiveness. That's right. I made up a word.