Feb 20, 2009

Separation anxiety

My baby seems to hate naps. She can look dreadfully tired, but outside of my arms, a vibrating bouncer, or swing- she will fight the nap tip the end. I try to leave her to cry it out, but after 5 minutes, my heart can't take it anymore. I do swaddle her, "shush", rock/sway, and sometimes use a pacifier. Often I get her sleepy and laid down peacefully, but it seems some unknown thing will startle her and once she sees I am gone it's time to scream.
Any advice from the seasoned veterans out there? Is this just a phase? And note that I am blogging this on my iTouch while watching over her crib. This time I'm going to try to slowly leave Supernanny-style.

12 comments:

patty said...

It's a sign of an intelligent baby - the separation anxiety. you can't spoil her yet, just let her knoe she's safe warm and secure. it's all she needs right now, along with fed and dry of course.

Jacqueline said...

Don't worry Ang...Matthew used to do this all the time. I used my Baby Bjorn EVERY day. I would even have to blow dry my hair with him strapped to my chest. Now, I can put him in his chair, crib, wherever and he is a happy boy =)

BammerKT said...

I still swear by the Ferber method, but I don't think you start it until four months. I really think this is a totally normal phase for the age she is right now. I do remember wondering "now what on earth woke you up right then?"

Pixie Purls said...

how old is she/he?

Those first 6 months with our girl my husband was the champion. We wore my brown moby wrap, put on his ipod and would walk around the house in laps for an hour straight. Only this would put her to sleep, she would not cry if he or I kept walking but I never had the stamina. Once she fell asleep we would wait X amount of minute (we found that putting her down for example before 10 minutes had past but after 5 minutes and she would not wake etc. Still today if she fall asleep in the car she ALWAYS has a little waking/cry spell after 20 minutes, and if I quckily pop the paci back in she goes right back to sleep, odd little timing things. She was never an easy sleeper and in the carseat she ALWAYS had to fuss/cry to sleep not matter what. I co-slept with her for periods of time for naps etc when needed, then she would phase out and be fine in the crib. I havn't co slept with her in ages as she tosses and turns and likes to be on a flat surface now, used to be she would only sleep next to me holding my hand.

Pixie Purls said...

I didn't do ferber until 6 months, but ferber worked for us.

Angie said...

She's 5 weeks old.

Jessica Hessler said...

Totally normal. I remember every time I heard a rustle or grunt from his crib my body would tense up and freeze and I would wait anxiously to see if he was going to wake up. She is still quite young, so Patti is right, you really can't "spoil" her yet. She'll grow out of it fast and then she'll start crying just to get you to come back. Babies get real smart, real quick!

Kim said...

Just let her sleep in the swing or bouncer during the day. Michelle lent us "The Happiest Baby on the Block" and he said to even let her sleep in one of them at night if she's fussy. You could try phasing it out, like swing/bouncer on then off, then totally off, then bouncer in the crib, etc. until she is just in her crib.

Sounds easy, doesn't it?? Mine is still inside so I have no real clue!!! I'll call you in a few weeks with the same issue. ;)

Chris said...

Naps were hard, but I didn't start using the crib until after 6 weeks (when I could go up and down stairs), so I don't know if that is the difference. Most of the time Amos took naps in his car seat, after a walk, in the bouncer, or in his Pack N Play. Other times he just fought taking a nap and I would have to let him cry for 20 minutes. As I mentioned before, night time was the worst because he would start crying when Ben came home and I would have to bounce him and hold him close to me to get his to settle down and take a nap. You could also try skin-to-skin, that worked a couple of times.

Chris said...

Going along with what Patty said, I have heard the same thing that babies who don't nap are intelligent...because they always want to know what is going on around them and they can't stand to miss out on anything. And as our doctor said, and I don't think I took full advantage of it, you can't spoil them for up to 6 months...just keep hugging on her and keep her close :-)

Chris said...

Sorry, another thing I just remembered, which it sounds like you are doing. When I did start putting Amos down for naps in his crib I ended up using the swaddler too and that helped. But of course at daycare they couldn't do this, so we had to start not using it after 9 weeks, so he could learn to take naps without anything. As for when she gets startled, can you let her go for a little bit and maybe she will fall back asleep? Oh another thing we used...sorry remembering back 9 months ago...was the "music machine" that came with the Pack N Play. The water/stream music was the best because it was like white noise. The dishwasher also helped to settle him down.

Patty Ann said...

I agree, I think music is the best distraction. If you can get the baby to focus on the music, she might relax her other sensory receptors and drift off to sleep.
When the weather breaks, getting her out for fresh air will help too.