My friend, Carrie, gave me the advice that "no one wants to hear about your baby's poop." Tough, I'm going to talk about it anyway!
In four weeks, I've learned so much already about baby poop that I want to pass on my advice to any other soon-to-be new moms.
1) Even though the baby's diet consists of one thing, their poop comes in every color and texture you can imagine.
2) In no way does the velocity or amplitude of the poop correlate to what you will find in the diaper.
3) The mother who quickly attends to the sound of a newly pooped in diaper will regret it, as she will use 4 diapers in that one change. Each time she wipes and switches, more poop will inevitably be deposited into the clean and rather expensive Pampers.
4) Spray and wash Oxy is a miracle product for removing poop stains. And the sink used to be for washing dishes and soaking delicates. Now you will use it to soak poopy clothes at 2 am.
5) As much as you'd like to believe your newborn is smiling or contemplating how much she loves being your daughter, she's not thinking about anything, she's just working on pooping.